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//08/30/03 - Children shows and the taliban
//07/23/03 - Foreplay, it's a wonderful thing
//04/22/03 - Kung Pao Chicken & Fatal Attraction
//04/22/03 - Hairy Jungle Boy, a.k.a: James Ryland-Neto
//04/19/03 - Girls & Getting "Whited"
//02/21/03 - Sandwich Men and the "F" Word
//03/11/03 - Check out Ask Jeeves Answer
//02/02/03 - For Tilden Grads
//01/19/03 - Canadians and Their Flag
//01/03/03 - Air Travel
//12/18/02 - The end is near...
//12/12/02 - But seriously folks...
//12/09/02 - The importance of russians to the world
//12/03/02 - dum Dum DUMMMMMM..TONY GINI...AHHHHHH..RUN..SAVE YOURSELF
//11/27/02 - Christmas Songs and Squirrels
//11/25/02 - Whats Up with toliet water anyways?
//11/22/02 - Hey People!
//11/12/02 - Stand up for revoulution!!!!
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| The end is near... |
Hey guys,
After much anticipation, the 8th issue of the newsletter has finally been
finished, this one took me a week. Remember, quality over quanity. Well, the
reason is, the extensive research I have exerted on this letter, explaining and
describing the possiblility of end of the world. Ok here goes:
After watching the well-made movie, "Armageddon". I theroized, what IF the
asteriod did hit the earth. What IF you (u specifically) was the only one alive
after the collision. How about I told you that, some weird shampoo saved you?
Hm? Now that I got your attention, lets begin a simualtion that I designed
myself, its CALLED, "Simualtion #1 Alpha" (now your suppose to make the
woooooooooooooo ahhhhhhhh sound). Anyway, say your living out your miserable
life on earth, then one day you needed extra cash, you look in the papers and
spot an ad for "experimental shampoo testing". You think to yourself, "Hm,
shampoo, experimental? Koollll!"(for guys) and "Experimental Shampoo for money,
I'll do it!"(for girls). Notice the complete sentence usage on the latter
response. Anyway, the point is that you go to the labortory and you washed
yourself with this new kind of shampoo called, "noitaidar" and you felt fine
afterwards when they give you the cash and booted you out of there. You walk
home, and on the way you spotted a television displayed in the window of the
Electronic Store, the 5 o clock news in on, and they are broadcasting a breaking
news on Asteriod Collison. Apparently, a Texas sized asteriod is headed for
earth at the speed of Mach 10.4 (425,000 miles per second for you dumasses).
Anway you stare into the tv and let your eyes go out of focus, you slap
yourself..Hard...but you don't wake up..."It's not a dream" you told yourself.
You then scream like a wuss and ran home as fast as your pitiful legs can carry
you. You locked yourself in the closet and screamed once again at the top of
your lungs..sounds fimilar you wuss? (cough)(cough)Ben(cough)(cough)....excuse
me...I always wanted to do that...ok, right...anway, after about 5 hours of
waiting and peeing in your tidy widys, you feel a rumble in the closet, you
scream AGAIN, and heat penterats the atmostphere and burns off every living
thing on the planet(including bacteria). You see the heat die down after an hour
of so. You have no idea what just happened...you extended your hand to open the
closet door, you peek out of the door and see endless plains of inferno and
destruction, you patted your body and examined yourself quickly and said, "I'M
ALIVEEEE I'M ALIVE!!!!!" you were soo joyful you ran around in circles as fast
as you can and bumped your head on a partially destroyed flagpole......(wat a
idiot!)...you black out for days..then after a day or so, you open your eyelids,
the world is pitch dark because of the dirt and grind in the atmostphere. You
again seated your miserable butt up and studyed your surronding, smoking
craters, smell of burning corpses, infernos that stretch as far as you can see,
and of course your closet, which remained intact...not even a hitch on it. You
say to yourself, "Why am I still alive?" You reached into your pocket and pulled
out the bottle of shampoo. The bottle lays upside down, you stare at it for a
moment and you finally figured it out, "Radiation" read backwards is
"Noitaidar". You gasp in surprise, then you realized that you will never get
laid by ANYBODY again (this aplies to desprate people only). YOu AGAIN scream
like a sissy. "AHHHHHHHH!! NOOOOO!!!!" ok, heres the question, (a. Do you live
on and establis yourself using sagavened materials)(or b. commit sucide using
the shampoo bottle). Whatever you choose you end up living because shampoo
bottle aren't sharp you dumass. You look around at the world again, you hear a
faint voice, "(ur name), (ur name)". You answered back. But, you see no one. A
sharp cold pain passes through your body and the world disappers, you emerge in
a bright sunny day with your best friend carrying a bucket of water by his side
and laughing hard. (you just woke up from a really bad dream). Ok, i think
that's the end of it, This is Will's version of "Alice in Wonderland".....luv
that movie..soo myserious..soo conspiracy like...i know this is pointlesss,
yea.....great.....i just wasted 5 minutes of your time......mmmm....
-Your neighboorhood Communist
Will
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This website was made by Jess & is copyright & TM Jess and Will. The contents herein are NOT my responsibility, nor are the spelling errors... I just make the pretty layout :D
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